


Paradise, Lost

by VividDayDreamer



Series: Prompts and Challenges (Supergirl 2015) [20]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AgentCorp, Alex Danvers Needs a Hug, Don't copy to another site, F/F, Fictober 2019, Haunted Houses, Heartbreaking, Heavy Angst, Hero Lena Luthor, Hopeful Ending, Love, Portals, Tumblr Prompt, Written like poetry?, prompt 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-08 23:53:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20985350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VividDayDreamer/pseuds/VividDayDreamer
Summary: Alex awakens on a cruise ship, happily enjoying a calm and relaxing morning.  A tug at her subconscious forces her to get up.  A moment later she finds Lena out on the balcony, looking far into the distance.  Everything is perfect as it should be, but it wasn't.  Rather than finding comfort and joy with Lena in her arms, she finds pain and sorrow, not knowing the reason why...





	Paradise, Lost

**Author's Note:**

>   

> 
> Challenge Details: 
>   * Challenge Name: [Fictober 2019](https://fictober-event.tumblr.com)
>   * Relationship: AgentCorp
>   * Prompt: "Listen, I can’t explain it, you’ll have to trust me."
>   * **Warning: Heavy Angst -- Hopeful ending**
> 
>   

> 
> **Prompt me if you'd like to play! You can find my prompts and rules on my [Tumblr](https://dreamsescapeus.tumblr.com/).**
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
>   


Alex woke up to the smell of salty waters and the sound of waves and seagulls. Rays of sun poured in full, dousing the entire room in bright, warm light that countered the cool breeze which swept through the room. Forcing her eyes to open, bits of her vision returned between squinted lids; she threw her hand over her eyes to help them adjust. If she was being honest, she could probably fall back asleep again. The room, now darker under the shade of her hand, relaxed her eyes and loosened the tension between her brows. The continued smell of ocean waters, the short and high-pitched cries of those greedy birds, the low humming of the engine in the background mixed in with the sound of disturbed waters, was quite lulling, soothing even; it was a full immersion into the perfect dreamscape, a maternal nurturing, as gentle hands caressed her back into its warm bosom, coaxing her to sleep.

However, despite this enveloping perfection, something tugged at her consciousness; something _told her_ to wake. Its power was strong, convincing Alex to push away from the loving hold of protective arms that urged her to stay. She took a deep breath and let her hand slip off her face, once more allowing that harsh, bright light to penetrate the thin surface of her lids. Willing herself to get up, she tossed off the covers, expecting the cool air to help jolt her body awake. Alas, the radiating sun coated her skin, bringing about continued warmth. Her body longed to stay in the pillowy nest that allowed the contours of her body to dip into it perfectly, but that tugging continued; she felt it deep in her chest, like a dull ache in her heart.

With another deep breath and forced exhale, her eyes fluttered awake, fighting off the heaviness of her lids. She turned to her side, tossed her legs off the edge of the bed, and slowly pushed herself up. She sat up, hands clasping the edge of the mattress as she stared at her bare legs, her feet, and the mahogany planks beneath them. She raised her hands above her head, a tense reach up towards the sky, as a strained sigh of relief left her lungs. Craning her head behind her, she saw the sliding glass door of the balcony partially ajar. She stood up, then slowly padded across the hardwoods into the open, sun-drenched patio. 

Squinting her eyes even harder, with the sun hanging up high and its strong rays beaming down from above, she raised her hand over her brow to provide a temporary reprieve from the blinding light. And there, in the corner of the balcony, looking far into the distance, was a raven haired beauty. Her locks, a slave to the invisible currents that whipped about, causing a whirlwind of wispy black strands to dance around her, as if they had a life of their own. Her pale skin, flawless in the bright sun, her body, kept modest by the ivory satin fabric that hung from thin spaghetti straps, which sat lightly upon her shoulders. The silky material rippled along her delicate form, the hem of it, threatening to rise up further than its intended length, as it draped loosely just above the tops of her thighs, and just below the bottom of her cheeks. Alex couldn't stop looking, couldn't stop staring at the beauty before her. The perfection of her, angelic, with beams of light shrouding her form, stood in this scene as if she belonged there, as if the heavens above revered this goddess and all that she was.

Alex crept closer, drawn to her. Her heart filled with a heaviness, an ache, though she did not know why. Her eyes were misty, perhaps from the stinging sensation of the sun, or perhaps...something more. Daring to touch, standing a breath's distance away, she took one final step, close enough to smell the soft fragrance of her perfume. She slipped her hands, carefully, warily, around the woman's waist, encircling her as they overlapped in a deep embrace. Alex tipped her head forward, resting her nose at the base of her neck, off the left shoulder. She placed a soft kiss on her warm skin. It tasted of salt with a hint of sweetness. She nuzzled her head closer, closing her eyes tightly, which ruptured the weak seal that prevented her tears from falling, sending trickles down her cheeks.

  


"Lena..."

  


Her whispered voice, full of relief, and sorrow, and joy, shook with a sense of fragility, of fear. And at the sound of it, the woman's hands reached down to touch the strong, bare arms that held her tight. They wrapped around Alex's wrists, pulling them up until they formed an 'X' across her chest; a different embrace, more meaningful, more...intimate. Alex's arms crossed over Lena's chest, with Lena's arms on top, forming a reinforced, protective hold, relaxing her and causing her to whisper in the same voice,

  


"Alex..."

  


The sound of her name produced a fissure in Alex's spirit. It spread through her, cracking her soul and shattering her entire being. A large lump in her throat formed, making it hard to swallow. Her eyes overflowed with tears that wouldn't stop. They streamed down her cheeks, down her chin and down onto Lena's skin. A shuddering breath left Alex's lungs and Alex just held on tighter, so tight that she swore she may fracture her ribs. But she couldn't stop. She knew that if she let go....if she loosened her hold..._this_ would end.

  


"Lena..."

  


Alex's voice was more vulnerable now, as if she could sense the inevitable. But she tried to stop it, tried to just enjoy this moment, believing it would never end, and that _this_ was paradise; a place where their love would live on forever, together, in peace.

  


_This is where we belong....This is where **I** belong...._

  


Alex kept trying to convince her mind and her emotions to stay in control. This was paradise. Everything was perfect. Everything is how it should be.

  


"You must let go, Alex..."

  


Lena's voice held steadfast, but was also weak, was also under the threat of breaking; her resolve wasn't as strong as it should be.

  


"No....Lena....No..."

  


Alex grit her teeth, a defying spirit roaring inside her, causing her to hold on even tighter. Ribs against ribs, Lena's spine pressed against her sternum. Alex's muscles ached from how tense her arms were holding onto her. She dug her face further into the crook of Lena's neck, inhaling her scent deeply, and letting her lips slide over smooth and familiar skin. Her body, trembled all over. 

Lena's left hand slid upwards, snaking behind her slightly to cup the back of Alex's head, holding onto her, steadying her. It caused Alex to relax at her touch; it was Lena's own way of projecting her love for Alex, her everything. But there was something in that firm hold. It not only spoke of love, of protection, and of strength, but one of a farewell, as if it was the last time that Lena would be ever allowed to hold her like that again, as if it was the last time Alex would ever feel Lena's love for her.

  


"It's time to go, my love..."

  


An gut-wrenching sob tore through Alex's body, causing her to fall apart completely.

  


"Babe...I can't..."

  


Lena tightened every part of her that held Alex; the arms across her chest, the head against her shoulder. Her fingers splayed open along Alex's scalp, then curled back in to grab a tuft of her hair, clenching it in her fist. The action wasn't out of malice or to cause pain, but one that was meant to get a deeper hold on her.

  


"Alex...Listen, I can’t explain it, you’ll have to trust me. Darling, you have to let go.”

"Please...please. Lena...please don't ask me to..."

  


Her voice was barely auditable. The whimpered begging, was muffled by Lena's shoulder pressing along her mouth and nose.

  


"Do it for me...Alex, please..."

  


Alex could never deny Lena, despite her own selfish will. Alex, through and through, was always selfless, always putting herself last before those she loved. And Lena....she loved Lena with all her heart, and in the deepest portions of it that belonged to no one else.

  


"Please...Alex..."

  


Alex held on to her for dear life, took one, deep, long inhale of the scent that only screamed, 'Lena', then slowly, ever so slowly, Alex loosened her grip. The lingering hold, weakening with every beat of her heart, until she finally let go completely. Alex's arms never felt emptier. Her head hung low, with tears that blurred her eyes, as her fists clenched at her sides.

Lena turned around then, with reluctance. Her hands reached up to cup Alex's cheeks — Alex let out a shuddering sigh at the warmth of her touch, basking in the tactile connection made between them once more. Lena raised Alex's chin, which was a bit of a struggle, as Alex clearly refused to raise her head.

  


"Alex..."

  


Lena's voice tore through her again, and though her name was whispered soft, there was an unsaid request. So Alex relented, raising her head to meet Lena's misty eyes.

  


"I love you, Alex..."

  


Alex blinked furiously from the tears that refused to stop flowing. Her hands shot up, covering Lena's with her own, and curling her fingers to hold onto those soft hands. A split second later, Lena leaned forward, placing a soft kiss upon Alex's lips. Alex leaned into it, meeting it with more passion, more feeling, more...desperation. And between their faces, the annoyance of required breath forced the parting of their lips.

  


"I love you Lena, so much. So, so much. Please...stay. Let me stay."

"Trust me, Alex. You need to trust me."

"I trust you, Lena. I...trust you..."

  


With their foreheads pressed against each other, Alex let out another shuddering sigh, her hands still with a deathly grip on Lena's. She tried to focus all her energy, all her strength, towards her center, towards her heart, hoping to reinforce it. And then, with another deep breath, the scent of Lena once more invaded her nasal passages, this time splitting itself to flow into two separate directions: one directed the oxygen into her lungs, while the other had the scent forced up towards her brain, where it engrained itself in her memory.

Alex then loosened her grip. Alex then blinked away the tears, though her eyes remained red and puffy and watery. Alex then let her hands fall to her sides. Alex then stepped back.

Once freed, Lena gave her a gentle smile, one that Alex knew she would remember forever. 

Then, suddenly, a strong gust of wind came by, forcing Alex to shield her face from it, as the sun grew brighter and brighter, blinding Alex until everything went blank.

  


  


* * *

  


  


"Alex! Alex!"

  


Alex gasped, air forcibly taken in through her mouth and into her lungs, as her eyes shot open. Blinking, she found herself in a dark, barely visible room; the moonlight peaked in through the boarded up windows. It smelled of rotting wood, combined with a musty scent.

  


"Kara?"

"It's me, Alex. It's me."

  


Kara knelt down next to her sister, holding her tight, as if she'd disappear once more if she did.

  


"What...What happened?"

"We're at the haunted house, the one where Brainy registered that strong energy signal. The one where reports kept coming in about people coming in and never coming out."

"Why...why do I feel like I've gone through hell and back?"

  


Alex stood up, wobbly on her feet, supported by Kara's strength.

  


"Alex...you disappeared the minute I turned around. I...I kept calling out for you, but...I couldn't find you. I thought...I thought that..."

  


Alex wrapped her arms around Kara, holding her tight like she always had, like the big sister she always was. After a few minutes, when Kara finally calmed down, she loosened her hold. And from where they were, the moon lit bright on Alex's face, alarming Kara when she saw reddened, watery eyes.

  


"Alex...were you crying?"

  


Alex didn't even realize that she was. She thought some dust had just irritated her eyes, but now that she mentioned it, they were sore...

Alex then took her hand to wipe at her eyes; a sudden drop from her nose threatened to fall, so she sniffed it back in.

  


"I'm glad it let you go, Alex."

  


Kara's words woke something in Alex, the spark shot through her body.

  


"Let go..."

  


Alex stepped back, the flood of memories and emotions returned quickly, overwhelming her until she stumbled backwards, and fell to the ground.

  


"Alex!"

  


Alex curled up; she brought her knees to her chest, her arms wrapped around them to bring them even closer, as she dropped her head into them and started to cry.

  


"Alex..."

  


Kara voice was soft and worrisome, as she knelt down close to Alex and placed her hand on her sister's back.

  


"Alex...what happened?"

  


And Alex took a deep breath, somehow smelling the scent of Lena in her nose, causing her to fall deeper into despair. After a while, after she'd caught her breath, normalizing it so that she could speak, she explained everything she saw to Kara. She explained the cruise ship cabin, the balcony, the sun and the sky, the wind, the sound of the ocean mixing in with the seagulls, and Lena...Lena's beautiful form enveloped by the sun's rays.

As Alex spoke, her hands nervously picked at the hem of her DEO combat suit. That was when realization settled in. Lena disappeared over a year ago. An alien invasion threatened to take over the planet; their armies and ships were coming in through a portal, one that Lena learned how to shut down. Unbeknownst to Alex and everyone else, Lena took it upon herself to be the hero that she always knew she was. But she didn't do it to have her name up in lights, or to be known as the savior of Earth, or to prove that Luthors weren't all that bad. She did it for Alex. She sacrificed herself to make sure that Alex survived, and that Alex would live.

However, Alex only realized it all too late. A video recording that Lena had taken, was left on Alex's desk at the DEO. It took her a few days to find it. Her attention at the time was set on protecting her sister, fighting off the aliens, and then later on, tending to the wounded, and finding Lena. When she saw that recording, her world shattered. It shattered as if the planet had fallen into the enemy's hands anyway and there was nothing left to hold on to. After that, she never stopped looking. She never stopped pursuing any possible way to get her back, to reopen that portal and— And that's where the efforts stopped. The risk that Brainy had assessed would negate Lena's sacrifice and would allow the alien invasion to continue once again. Despite the grim reality of bringing Lena back, Alex never stopped looking; never stopped searching. Though, it's been over a year...

She couldn't tell if what happened in that haunted house was a portal that connected her back to Lena. Part of her wanted to go back, but Brainy had yet to analyze their findings and the readings he'd captured. Perhaps Lena was still alive, still trapped on the other side of that invisible door, just waiting, waiting for Alex to come rescue her. But also, it could be a trap, or a dream, or...something that wasn't real. Many people never returned from it. Alex was the first. Who knows what may have happened to her had she stayed. That paradise dream...would it have continued, or was it all an illusion meant to capture unsuspecting souls into the depths of something much, much greater. Alex didn't know. All she knew was that Lena loved her, and saved her life for the second time. And with that, Alex's resolve strengthened once more. With her eyes sore and puffy and her cheeks drenched with tears, she took a deep breath, the vague scent of Lena still lingered in the air. She told herself then, that she'd never give up looking. She never will.

  



End file.
